


Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?

by DrunkSmoochum



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-23 21:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20223043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrunkSmoochum/pseuds/DrunkSmoochum
Summary: A short story about Callum and Chris.





	Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's a mess, I wrote this in 20 minutes.

Ben had asked him, when he had found Callum wandering around like a lost puppy, still holding onto the memorial card. 

Who is Chris Kennedy? 

It was a name Callum wouldn't easily forget. He was, after all, the first guy Callum felt a real connection to. They met on Callums first day in the army. He was one of the few people that was being friendly towards him.

\--

Callum had found the army hard. He was being teased about his ears and his stutter, and It didn't help that he was seen more as the cook than a real soldier. Chris was the only one to treat him like a normal person. He had introduced him to his army mates, people he had known for years, and soon enough Callum found himself a group of friends. The band of misfits as Chris called them. 

They were a close group. So it made sense for Callum that he cared for them all. Chris in particular.

Then things stopped making sense. 

One night the band of misfits were enjoying themselves in the kitchen area. It was their usual hanging spot, because they would hang out with Callum while he had to clean the kitchen. It wasn't a very big space, but it could hold the five of them. Alexa, the oldest of the group, managed to smuggle in a flask filled with alcohol. It was Callum's birthday after all. They had to celebrate one way or another. 

There wasn't enough alcohol to give everyone a major hang-over the next morning, but there was enough to get people in a buzz. The women had to leave eventually, going back to their own barracks located a few hundred meters away from the kitchen and the male barracks. 

So now it was just Chris and Callum, content in their own space, sitting next to each other. Chris nudged Callums knee with his own, asking him about the girl back home Callum had spoken about before to the other soldiers. 

Callum felt comfortable enough to tell Chris the truth. Mainly that there wasn't a girl back home. He just said that so the guys would stop teasing him about hanging out with female soldiers. Chris wasn't angry about the admission but instead laughed and patted Callums knee, telling him how ridiculous that was. Callum admitted that it was and laughed as well, placing his hand over Chris's hand subconsciously.

They stayed there in comfortable silence, their hands still resting on each other on top of Callums knee. Callum stared at their hands and then he looked at Chris, who had been staring at him. Chris was about turn his hand to link them when one of the other soldiers called for them to return to the barracks for lights out. 

The never mentioned the moment they had to anyone. The moment that had caused Callum to feel flutters. The moment that had made Callum question everything about himself. 

They would have more moments. Slight touches, holding of hands, mischievous looks. Always hidden, never in plain sight. They never did more, afraid to be found out. But also because Callum was afraid of what he was feeling. 

They went on for a few months like that until one of the army man saw them. Callum went into full panic mode. Denying everything and even going as far as avoiding Chris for the next few days. And all the flutters Callum had felt before, left an aching in his heart. 

A few weeks later, callum had gotten injured and Chris visited him every single day. Callum apologised for his recent behavior and the pair went back to being friends. One night, Callum was told he was being sent home. 

As a farewell gift, Chris gave him his hat. He told Callum to keep it as a reminder and that he could return it once he was back in the army. 

Callum took the hat, but never returned. Partially because he was still afraid of his feelings for Chris, but mostly because he could live the life that he wanted with Whitney. The life his family would be proud of. 

\--

He hadn't thought about Chris since then.

That was until it all came flowing back first when he had pushed Ben Mitchell against a wall. Ben who could see right through him. 

And that night in the park with Ben. How much further he had taken it than he had with Chris, a guy who he actually liked. A guy who he probably lov-

Callum did not want to think to much about it.

Especially not with Ben sitting next to him, looking at him all soft. So, feeling compelt to, he told Ben everything. About Chris, about how he felt and how horrible he had been for not returning to him. It all came pouring out and Callum realised how much he had wished he had someone to talk about this before. 

Instead of making a joke or a snide remark, Ben wiped away a tear from Callum's face and softly ruffled the taller man's hair. He then told Callum that he should return to the memorial and if he wanted, Ben would join him. 

Callum looked at Ben and that fluttering feeling he had felt years ago returned. Yet it felt different. 

He thanked Ben for the offer, but decided to go back by himself. As hard as it was going to be Callum knew he had to do this alone. However, knowing that Ben would be waiting on him afterwards made it all a bit easier.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
